it has been a while since i last posted. a lot has been going on and every time i sit down to write it all up i get impatient with the length of it and abandon the task altogether.

so, a summary:

-went to the ER with the worst migraine of my life and no peripheral vision in my left eye. turned out to be an "atypical ocular migraine" and i was sent home with a prescription for vicodin that i never filled.
-the hunt for a place to live in orlando is ongoing. we found a really lovely little apartment that we could afford but it doesn't look like we're going to get it due to andy's best buy transfer not being complete. sigh.
-christmas was nice and, overall, uneventful.

yesterday at 1pm was anatomy scan attempt 2. it went much better than attempt 1. the sonographer was a bit friendlier, took lots of measurements and photos, and confirmed that we are indeed having a boy. after waiting to see the midwife for nearly an hour she greeted us with "so what's going on with baby's kidneys?"

um, excuse me? we were not aware that anything was going on with his kidneys.

apparently the sonographer thought that she spotted fluid around- or in, or on, i honestly don't even know- the baby's kidneys, and there was also something mentioned about dilation. now this all may seem imprecise, but this is literally the extent of the information that we were able to glean from the midwife. (eta: his kidneys were mildly dilated.) she had no idea that the sonographer hadn't mentioned this to us, nor did she know what any of it implied. which was incredibly frustrating, because obviously we had no fucking clue what it implied either.

we were hurried out- i barely had time to tell her about my trip to the ER, let alone ask any questions like i should have the opportunity to do at my monthly doctor's appointment- and sent up to the front desk to schedule my next appointment, as well as an appointment at tampa general for a level 2 ultrasound. apparently pasco county is completely devoid of decent ultrasound machines and perinatologists. the midwife went off to find some kind of literature for me but returned empty handed, stating that she didn't want to freak me out.

i was not freaking out before that.

at this point it was nearly 2:30 and i was meant work 3-9. i thought that i was holding myself together fairly well until, right after arriving at work, my supervisor asked if i was alright and i immediately started bawling. i hid in the women's room for half an hour and then went home.

anyway, the internet has since told me that this kidney issue is common in boys and usually resolves itself by birth, so i'm feeling pretty reassured. the midwife probably should have just told me these things in the first place, but apparently she thinks i'm a moron.

beyond these events, we also had to deal with several thousand dollars worth of stolen electronics (not ours, but i don't want to go too much into it) & the investigation that went along with it, and the madhouse that was our apartment building following the death of one of our neighbors.

it was a very eventful day.

21w
sorry about the gross mirror.

suddenly, belly

19w4d

had a conversation with someone at my doctor's office today. it went sort of like this:

me: "hi, my name is lyndsey ward- well actually it's not, but medicaid says it still is so that's how you guys know me. i had an anatomy scan on thursday and it sucked."

her: "anatomy scan? what is that? do you mean a well woman exam? i don't even see you in our system. lyndsey wood, right?"

me: "no. no, my name is not lyndsey wood. ward, w-a-r-d. i am eighteen weeks pregnant and i mean the big mid-pregnancy ultrasound during which my baby's organs and size and whatnot are checked."

her: "uh, hold on, i need a chart or i will have no idea what you're talking about ever."

(five minutes of midi waiting music)

her: "hey, that ultrasound you're talking about? that happens between 18-22 weeks, you haven't had that yet."

me: "that's what i'm saying, but your stupid technician is that one that called it that. i was 17 weeks and three days, they said it was cool. they said i wasn't getting another ultrasound."

her: "they were wrong. see, it even says your next appointment is on a thursday, that's when the ultrasound tech is here."

me: "i asked for a thursday."

her: "no, this proves that we knew what we were doing the whole time! see you in three weeks!"


so, as you can see, it was finally, FINALLY, decided that i would be receiving another ultrasound at my next appointment on the 30th. she said she was putting a note in my chart about it to be sure, and that's good enough for me- charts are law in a doctor's office, right?

in other news, i look exactly the same- if not a smidge smaller- than i did last week. what is this?

18w

yesterday (thursday), as i believe i mentioned previously, was the highly anticipated date of my anatomy ultrasound.

what a letdown.

the sonographer was the same woman who did my NT scan- and i didn't like her much then, either. i think i may have even posted about her. she rushed through the scan like we had somehow done her a personal disservice just by being there. sorry, do i know you? did i kill your cat? you may do this every day but i certainly don't.

an anatomy scan is supposed to be thorough. it is supposed to be comprehensive. according to all that i have read (and the many videos that i watched of anatomy scans, in my excitement) the sonographer is supposed to check blood flow through the heart and the development and placement of the kidneys, bladder, stomach, brain, and spine. they are meant to take quite a few measurements to be sure that gestational age is still on track and check the umbilical cord, amniotic fluid levels, placenta location, and fetal heart rate- not to mention checking for deformities like a cleft palate. overall, it should take 30-45 minutes.

it didn't.

i saw three measurements, andy says he saw maybe four or five; he had a better view of the screen as, initially, she didn't bother turning it towards me. i saw two measurements of the circumference of the skull, and a measurement of what i think was a thigh bone. beyond that, after telling her that yes, we would really, really like to know the sex, she spent a couple of minutes trying to get a decent view before saying that it could maybe-possibly be a boy, but not to take that as fact. and then it was over. the whole thing lasted perhaps fifteen minutes. she gave us three photos that are just as disappointing as the scan itself- one barely discernible between-the-legs shot and two blurry, blobby profile shots.

after that we were ushered out to wait for the midwife, who i actually like, but she merely mentioned in passing that my chart said "incomplete anatomy scan." when we mentioned our disappointment about not getting a more decisive boy-or-girl, she said that she could try to come up with an excuse for another scan ("we could say that we're worried about baby's size, or something?") but that it would take a while to actually get it, perhaps two appointments out. as nice a gesture as that was, that's two months, and we won't be in new port richey in two months. neither she nor the nurse who made my next appointment (dec. 30) mentioned anything about a do-over of the important parts of the anatomy scan.

to wrap up a long story, i'm frustrated and disappointed, least of all because she was leaning toward boy rather than girl. i didn't have a chance today but on monday i intend to call the doctor's office and talk to them about it. if they don't offer another ultrasound i guess we will be shelling out the money to go somewhere else, at least to confirm the sex.

i honestly have a few other things nagging at me that i'd like to vent, but i suppose this is enough for one post.